Friday, November 05, 2010
Stalking
Went to court not to long ago and while doing research to address some of the issues in court; came accross certain terms in which something said,"copy that; hold that, etc." One of them was relating to "STALKING", in which this morning I looked up information on stalking and sure enough all of the criteria fit, and for the record; let me say that I have it from a reliable source that if I do hurt somebody I will walk; which I informed the person at this point I do not like violence and they said but sometimes people don't leave you alone they tnink because you don't address issues or choose to ignore them that you are weak; my response was?????????
In the meantime doing a search on stalking; a lot of things I read below; I do, such as go to a public library,etc.; which is where most people go that don't have a lot of money. Then it dawned on me that those who have been harassing me; know where I go and what I do; and God revealed they have been doing it before 1975;including reading this blog.
Came into the Winston-Salem Public Library this morning 11/5/10 at aprox.11:30am;with no money; person can't go to many places. Yesterday 11/4/10 came to the public library and took certain legal books and put them on a big table, so that I wouldn't have to go back and forth; and yesterday when I left; I left the books on top of the library table. So this morning KNOWING that I have been at the library and knowing that it is their job to put up library books; was a little surprised to find that all of the books were still on the table; PRE-ARRANGED specifically the LAW books and a SLAVERY book that I had looked at; along with a book with the letter "U" in it. The books were arrange to send message that I am NOT recieving; which bring me to the REAL MESSAGE; in which this blog verifies and that is the issue of those who abuse their authority.
They have recently put a Caucasion female(very nasty attitude-do not like people of color and KNOW her job is to attack them without drawing attention)-looking at her and summing her up she is probably a Klan and was probably hired for that very reason. The fact that the books were left on the table are an indication to me that the library staff was watching me; verification of how long they have been watching me is the "BERNIE MACK show; could not figure out why all the characters in the BERNIE MACK show related to me in some way till God revealed it to me; have been using me to control a guy name Bernie; couldn'g figure out why Bernie; I didn't like hinm, he liked me; so they used me to control him. Some of the things like telling people bad things about the person lthey are stalking, etc.; butthe saddest thing about the whole situation is that all of their tips say to go to the same people; especially if they are monitoring lyour phone, internet,(they did not mention the mail; but the mail also-I can't even get my mail without lharassment) in other words the STALKERS are the people who are suppose to stop the STALKING. And after clicking on one of the links on "What to do If you are stalked they had an ad for "UNITED- WAY WAY FOR PEOPLE meaning dog the people out,etc.."; which is why no one will ever deal with what they are doing to me; what they are doing to me is a part of the "UNITED WAY FOR PEOPLE" to keep money/jobs/protection for all those who are member of the "CLUB"; and to keep money/jobs/protection from everybody else that is NOT a member of the CLUB and is considered a nuciance(sp) and a pest and everybody knows what happens to pest. Of coarse, it is illegal and ilmoral; but all the attorney's who practice law that I have encountered understand and participate in the "UNITED-WAY FOR THE PEOPLE".
STALKING is why I can't go to ANY PUBLIC place and have peace; because they have b een and are trained to monitor anybody's activities who are NOT a part of the CLUB and especially those who they consider to have enough intelligence to challenge the setup of the members in the CLUB. And they have been taught to do so in such a way as to not draw attention to themselves or what they are doing. They have had a system of STALKing me for decades; which I have blogged about the effects; they have intimidated family, friends, relatives for decades; and the sad part again is NOBODY will stop them. One of the things that the website about stalking says to do is to write down/DOCUMENT everything that has or is being done to harass a person. I have. The other thing is that they say the person usually stops work; my answer is that they also threaten the people with confinement if they work.
Also at public library=workers/clerks harass =know theyhave back up authority=why at least the first three days authority cars appeared when I walked /turned either corner.
"time to Kill came out when I went to get my pap\wers"
Socialpeacest
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The article on stalking is as follows:
Stalking is defined as the willful and repeated
following, watching, and/or harassing of another
person. In most cases, the purpose of stalking is to
force a relationship with an unwilling or unavailable
target. It is a crime of power and control.
Contrary to other crimes that usually consist of a
single act, stalking consists of a series of actions
spread out over time. Stalking is illegal but can
involve actions which in themselves are legal, such
as gathering information, calling on the phone, or
sending gifts or emails.
The act of stalking is a continuous process, consisting of numerous incidents. Rokkers writes,
"Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwantedly, and disruptively
breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom they have no relationship (or no longer have)." For the
most part, the separate acts that make up the intrusion cannot by themselves cause the mental abuse,
but taken together they do, as there is a cumulative effect.
Stalking Behaviors
Waiting at the victim's workplace or in their neighborhood
Persistent phone calls, text messages, emails, letters or notes
Placing messages in the media
Sending gifts from the seemingly "romantic" (i.e. flowers and/or candy) to the bizarre (i.e.
pornographic gifts)
Breaking into the victim's home or car
Gathering information on the victim: contacting people who know the victim; searching public or
personal records, or the trash, for information.
Surveillance:
-persistently watching the individual
-employing detective agencies to watch the victim
-using cameras, audio equipment, phone tapping, or bugging the victim's home or
workplace
-installing spyware on the victim's computer
-installing GPS tracking systems on the victim's car or cellphone
Manipulative behavior (for example: bringing legal action against the victim, or threatening to
commit suicide in order to coerce the victim to intervene--all methods of forcing contact with the
stalker)
Defamation of character: the stalker will often lie to others about the victim, trying to limit their
options and weaken their support network. This isolates the victim, making them seem more
vulnerable, and gives the stalker a feeling of power and control.
"Objectification": the stalker derogates the victim, thus reducing them to an object which allows
the stalker to feel angry with them without experiencing empathy. It helps the stalker feel they
are entitled to behave as they please toward the victim. Viewing her/him as "lesser," "weak" or
otherwise seriously flawed can support delusions that the victim needs to be rescued, or
punished, by the stalker.
Threats and violence: the stalker uses threats to frighten the victim; vandalism and property
damage (usually to the victims car); physical attacks that leave abrasions and bruises (mostly
meant to frighten); less common--physical attacks that leave serious physical injuries, or sexual
assaults.
Cyberstalking: electronic mediums, such as the Internet, are used to pursue, harass or contact
another in an unsolicited fashion. The stalker may install spyware on their target's computer or
cellphone, and use an Internet connection to upload the information they gather. They may loiter
around forums they know their target frequents, even joining the forums in order to contact their
target, or contact other forum members the target interacts with. Cyberstalking is an extension
of the physical form of stalking.
Gang stalking: stalking by multiple perpetrators, or one perpetrator is able to convince others to
assist in his/her stalking and harassing activities against a victim.
Recent Stalking Statistics--The 2009 U.S. Department of Justice Report
In January of 2009, The U.S. Department of Justice released a report based on a national crime victims
survey of stalking and harassment victims. Below are just a few of the statistics of this 16 page report.
During a 12-month period an estimated 14 in every 1,000 persons age 18 or older were victims
of stalking.
About half (46%) of stalking victims experienced at least one unwanted contact per week, and
11% of victims said they had been stalked for 5 years or more.
The risk of stalking victimization was highest for individuals who were divorced or separated—34
per 1,000 individuals.
Women were at greater risk than men for stalking.
About 43% of victims stated that police were contacted at least once regarding the stalking.
Male (37%) and female (41%) stalking victimizations were equally likely to be reported to the
police.
Approximately 1 in 4 stalking victims reported some form of cyberstalking such as e-mail (83%)
or instant messaging (35%). Electronic monitoring was used to stalk 1 in 13 victims (i.e. GPS
monitoring, bugs, phone tapping, video).
46% of stalking victims felt fear of not knowing what would happen next.
Nearly 3 in 4 stalking victims knew their offender in some capacity.
Download the report: Stalking Victimization in the United States
Stalking isn't taken seriously
In conjunction with the Network for Surviving Stalking, the University of Leicester has been conducting an
ongoing, international survey of stalking. They report:
Half of the victims responding to the survey reported being told they were being paranoid or over-
reacting when they confided to friends and colleagues about their stalker.
57% of victims said they did not go to the police when their stalking problem started for fear of
being ignored or laughed at.
A sixth of victims in the Leicester study said they were told they were lucky to receive such
attention.
A third of these victims said that prior to being stalked, they’d thought that only mentally ill people
were responsible for stalking.
Patterns
According to the U.S. National Center For The Victims Of Crime, 1 out of every 12 women will be stalked
during her lifetime. 1 out of 45 men will be stalked during his lifetime. Over one million women, and
nearly 380,000 men are stalked annually.
Links:
NNEDV: Safety
Net
Stalking Behavior
Stalking
Sanctuary
National Center
for the Victims of
Crime
Cornell
University's
Stalking site
Stalking Help
National Insitute
of Justice
ESIA (End
Stalking In
America)
NSS (Network for
Surviving
Stalking- UK)
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Sexually Harassed
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Stories and
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Support Groups
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Links
Site Map_
Stalker Types
and Patterns
What To Do If You
Are Being Stalked
Read stories by stalking survivors =>
What to do if you are being stalked =>
Recommended:
In the article "Stalkers and their Victims," published in Psychiatric Times, Pathý and Mullen reported:
"The impact on the victim's psychological and social well-being is considerable. Pathý and
Mullen (1997) studied 100 victims of persistent stalking. The majority had to severely restrict their
lives by changing or abandoning work, curtailing all social activities, and becoming virtual
recluses. Over 80% developed significant anxiety symptoms. Sleep disturbance was common,
and many resorted to substance abuse. Over half had symptoms of posttraumatic stress
disorder. Feelings of powerlessness and depression were common, and nearly a quarter of the
victims were actively considering suicide as a means of escape. Similar levels of distress and
disturbance were reported in Hall's study (1998) ."
According to the University of Leicester Study:
a third of victims said they’d lost their job or relationship or had been forced to move because of
the stalking.
98% of victims reported emotional effects due to stalking. These included anxiety, sleep
disturbance, anger, depression, paranoia, agoraphobia and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Half of the victims participating in the University of Leicester study said they’d lost out financially
due to stalking.
A third said they’d paid for repairs to damage inflicted by a stalker and a fifth paid for legal advice.
In addition, stalking can effect work and school performance in several ways. The behaviors often
interfere directly with attendance or productivity and result in the workplace or school becoming an
unsafe location, or the victim's feeling they are unsafe. Further, stalking may indirectly affect a person's
ability to work due to the many adverse emotional consequences suffered such as headaches, poor
concentration, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, helplessness, humiliation, gastrointestinal disorders,
and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), etc. Home will also feel unsafe, and the victim's ability to
function and complete daily tasks will usually be affected.
(For other effects, see Effects of Sexual Harassment )
Sources: 4, 5, 10, 27, 41, 48, 57, 67, 75, 78, 79, 81
Stalkers often ‘research’ their victims, searching public records for information, or manipulating family or
friends of the victim. The University of Leicester research reports 40% of stalkers obtained information
from people’s friends. 27% got information from their work-place and from the victim’s family. 17% of
the information came from public records.
Moreover, it is not always just the initial victim who is stalked. According to The University of Leicester
research, a quarter of victims said their children had also been targeted. A third reported the stalker
also harassed family and friends. A fifth said coworkers had been harassed.
Romantically obsessed stalkers refuse to believe the victim does not want a relationship with them.
However, stalking can also be a form of retaliation because of some perceived slight. Indeed, many
sexual harassment survivors report being stalked in retaliation for reporting their harassers.
Stalking is a crime of power and control. Stalkers tend to obsess about their victim. They may make
many plans for the future that involve their victim. Often, the great amount of time (and sometimes
money) they spend invested in stalking often leads them to believe that continued stalking is justified.
Stalkers tend to have very weak social skills, and usually see nothing wrong with their behavior.
(Normal individuals would be mortified to be caught following other people, looking for information about
them, tracking them on the Internet, leaving notes, and other inappropriate behavior displayed by
stalkers.)
Few stalkers see how their actions are hurting others, and they do not believe society's rules apply to
them. They do not believe they are threatening, intimidating, or even that they are stalking someone.
Most stalkers see all of their actions simply as attempts to get closer to their target, help them, or to gain
their love. To the victim, it is like a "prolonged rape." For more information, see Types of Stalkers.
Effects of stalking
In their 2009 report, the U.S. Department of Justice reports the impact of stalking on the victims:
46.1% reported fear of not knowing what would happen next. 29.1% were afraid the behavior
would never stop.
More than half of the stalking victims feared bodily harm to themselves, their child, or another
family member.
1 in 7 victims had to move to escape the stalker/s.
About 3 in 10 of stalking victims accrued out-of-pocket costs for things such as attorney fees,
security measures/devices, damage to property, child care costs, moving expenses, or changing
phone numbers.
More than half of stalking victims lost 5 or more days from work. (Also leads to loss of income).
Anger/annoyance was the most common emotion experienced by victims (72%). Others
reported fear (42%), anxiety (26.8%), helplessness (10%), depression (10%).
Stalking Help, a stalking victims' resource organization based at the University of Texas, reports some
effects of stalking:
93% of stalking victims indicate that being stalked had a significant negative impact on their
personal relationships.
63% of stalking victims reported conflict in their friendships as a result of being stalked. The
conflict was most often created by victims' unwillingness to attend social events where their
stalker might be present and friend's frustration because they believed the victim was not doing
enough to deter their stalker.
Many stalking victims indicated that they had changed jobs or transferred to another school to
escape the always-present terror they experienced.
Most stalking victims reported that they were at a loss about what they could do to end their
victimization. Most of the tactics they tried seemed to make matters worse.
Many of the victims reported living in perpetual fear that something might push their stalker over
the edge and lead him to physically assault, sexually assault, or even murder them.
A support community for anyone who has experienced sexual harassment.
Stalking is defined as the willful and repeated
following, watching, and/or harassing of another
person. In most cases, the purpose of stalking is to
force a relationship with an unwilling or unavailable
target. It is a crime of power and control.
Contrary to other crimes that usually consist of a
single act, stalking consists of a series of actions
spread out over time. Stalking is illegal but can
involve actions which in themselves are legal, such
as gathering information, calling on the phone, or
sending gifts or emails.
Exactly like any other crime, behaviour, or clinical disorder,
stalking exists on a continuum of severity. The stalking may
be so subtle that the victim may not even aware that it is
happening, or the perpetrator may have a sincere belief that
“if they would just get to know me, they would like me”, or that
“I just want to help them,“ with no malicious intent. Most
cases of stalking do not even rise to extreme levels of
According to the U.S. National Center For The Victims Of Crime, 1 out of every 12 women will be stalked
during her lifetime. 1 out of 45 men will be stalked during his lifetime. Over one million women, and
nearly 380,000 men are stalked annually.
Exactly like any other crime, behaviour, or clinical disorder,
stalking exists on a continuum of severity. The stalking may
be so subtle that the victim may not even aware that it is
happening, or the perpetrator may have a sincere belief that
“if they would just get to know me, they would like me”, or that
“I just want to help them,“ with no malicious intent. Most
cases of stalking do not even rise to extreme levels of
violence or harassment.
Stalkers often ‘research’ their victims, searching public records for information, or manipulating family or
friends of the victim. The University of Leicester research reports 40% of stalkers obtained information
from people’s friends. 27% got information from their work-place and from the victim’s family. 17% of
the information came from public records.
Moreover, it is not always just the initial victim who is stalked. According to The University of Leicester
research, a quarter of victims said their children had also been targeted. A third reported the stalker
also harassed family and friends. A fifth said coworkers had been harassed.
Romantically obsessed stalkers refuse to believe the victim does not want a relationship with them.
However, stalking can also be a form of retaliation because of some perceived slight. Indeed, many
sexual harassment survivors report being stalked in retaliation for reporting their harassers.
Stalking is a crime of power and control. Stalkers tend to obsess about their victim. They may make
many plans for the future that involve their victim. Often, the great amount of time (and sometimes
money) they spend invested in stalking often leads them to believe that continued stalking is justified.
Stalkers tend to have very weak social skills, and usually see nothing wrong with their behavior.
(Normal individuals would be mortified to be caught following other people, looking for information about
them, tracking them on the Internet, leaving notes, and other inappropriate behavior displayed by
stalkers.)
Few stalkers see how their actions are hurting others, and they do not believe society's rules apply to
them. They do not believe they are threatening, intimidating, or even that they are stalking someone.
Most stalkers see all of their actions simply as attempts to get closer to their target, help them, or to gain
their love. To the victim, it is like a "prolonged rape." For more information, see Types of Stalkers.
Effects of stalking
In their 2009 report, the U.S. Department of Justice reports the impact of stalking on the victims:
46.1% reported fear of not knowing what would happen next. 29.1% were afraid the behavior
would never stop.
More than half of the stalking victims feared bodily harm to themselves, their child, or another
family member.
1 in 7 victims had to move to escape the stalker/s.
About 3 in 10 of stalking victims accrued out-of-pocket costs for things such as attorney fees,
security measures/devices, damage to property, child care costs, moving expenses, or changing
phone numbers.
More than half of stalking victims lost 5 or more days from work. (Also leads to loss of income).
Anger/annoyance was the most common emotion experienced by victims (72%). Others
reported fear (42%), anxiety (26.8%), helplessness (10%), depression (10%).
Stalking Help, a stalking victims' resource organization based at the University of Texas, reports some
effects of stalking:
93% of stalking victims indicate that being stalked had a significant negative impact on their
personal relationships.
63% of stalking victims reported conflict in their friendships as a result of being stalked. The
conflict was most often created by victims' unwillingness to attend social events where their
stalker might be present and friend's frustration because they believed the victim was not doing
enough to deter their stalker.
Many stalking victims indicated that they had changed jobs or transferred to another school to
escape the always-present terror they experienced.
Most stalking victims reported that they were at a loss about what they could do to end their
victimization. Most of the tactics they tried seemed to make matters worse.
Many of the victims reported living in perpetual fear that something might push their stalker over
the edge and lead him to physically assault, sexually assault, or even murder them.
In the article "Stalkers and their Victims," published in Psychiatric Times, Pathý and Mullen reported:
"The impact on the victim's psychological and social well-being is considerable. Pathý and
Mullen (1997) studied 100 victims of persistent stalking. The majority had to severely restrict their
lives by changing or abandoning work, curtailing all social activities, and becoming virtual
recluses. Over 80% developed significant anxiety symptoms. Sleep disturbance was common,
and many resorted to substance abuse. Over half had symptoms of posttraumatic stress
disorder. Feelings of powerlessness and depression were common, and nearly a quarter of the
victims were actively considering suicide as a means of escape. Similar levels of distress and
disturbance were reported in Hall's study (1998) ."
According to the University of Leicester Study:
a third of victims said they’d lost their job or relationship or had been forced to move because of
the stalking.
98% of victims reported emotional effects due to stalking. These included anxiety, sleep
disturbance, anger, depression, paranoia, agoraphobia and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Half of the victims participating in the University of Leicester study said they’d lost out financially
due to stalking.
A third said they’d paid for repairs to damage inflicted by a stalker and a fifth paid for legal advice.
In addition, stalking can effect work and school performance in several ways. The behaviors often
interfere directly with attendance or productivity and result in the workplace or school becoming an
unsafe location, or the victim's feeling they are unsafe. Further, stalking may indirectly affect a person's
ability to work due to the many adverse emotional consequences suffered such as headaches, poor
concentration, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, helplessness, humiliation, gastrointestinal disorders,
and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), etc. Home will also feel unsafe, and the victim's ability to
function and complete daily tasks will usually be affected.
**************************************************************************
What To Do If You Are Being Stalked
Get the message across
Communicate to the stalker that their attention is unwelcome. If you do this yourself, do it once, and
only once. Better yet, have someone else do it for you. From then on, sever all contact with the
perpetrator as long as they are stalking you. Forcing contact is one of the goals of stalking, and you will
simply be reinforcing the behavior if you communicate directly with her/him.
Do not try to reason with a stalker, it won't work. Don't lash out or retaliate--the stalker wants your
attention, whether positive or negative, so you will just be giving him or her what they want..
Next, focus on protecting yourself, documenting the stalking, and getting help, if you need it.
Ways to Protect Yourself
There is no end to the ways stalkers track and harass their targets, and the intensity and duration can
vary. Also, one of the problems is that stalkers will use sites like this to find out ways to stalk, and ways
they are being blocked.
Below are suggestions on ways to protect yourself based on the most common forms of stalking. Apply
them as they fit your situation. For ways to get more information, see below.
If you suspect that the stalking may be a threat to your physical safety, click here for the National Center
for the Victims of Crime safety plan measures.
General Safety Tips
Change your patterns--don't do everything at the same time each day if possible, don't go to the
same places all the time....
Let your friends, family, and neighbors know you are being stalked. Circulate a picture and
physical description of the stalker.
Protect your personal information (bank account information, private records) by using a safe for
documents, and a shredder for discarded documents.
Install dead bolt locks (ask your local locksmith what is the best) and hide all keys. Non-
pickable locks, and restricted locks are expensive, but if you have the money, it may be worth the
investment. If you have the funds, install an alarm/security system.
Be very careful who you give your address, phone number, and email address to. You may want
to set up a post-office box for certain types of mail. Only give your phone number and primary
email address to people you trust. Set up alternate email accounts for strangers.
Phone:
Use caller ID to screen, and block unwanted calls or text messages.
Set up a Privacy Manager option to screen out anonymous callers. Privacy Manager directs
anonymous callers to a phone center where they have to identify themselves before their call will
be sent through to you.
If the stalker keeps calling, call the phone company and report it. Ask them to change your
phone number and keep the new one unlisted. Only give the new number to people you know
you can trust.
New info: The Seattle Police Department’s Domestic Violence Unit has found that when
stalking victims disconnect a phone number, virtually 100 percent of the stalkers escalate their
contact to in-person stalking. The Seattle Police now advise victims to get a new phone number
but keep their old phone line active and connected to an answering machine to capture any
possible evidence.
What To Do If You Are Being Stalked
Computer: (If you know the stalker has technical computer skills, do ALL of these)
Password protect your system (you can do this through your Windows control panel.)
If you have a DSL or cable connection, do not leave your modem on. Disconnect it when you are
not using your computer.
Install a VERY GOOD firewall and spyware detector, and do weekly scans. The "best" varies year
to year, so research what is recommended right now.
Backup all your documents and format your computer. This will clear out anything that may have
been installed without your authorization. (You may have to do this regularly.)
Internet: If you are being stalked or harassed on the Internet, click here for more information on what you
can do.
For more information on ways to protect yourself, contact the
National Network to End Domestic Violence: Project Safety
Net. They have a free advise hotline, free literature and a free
DVD focusing on ways to use technology against stalkers,
and ways to protect yourself if a stalker is using technology to
track you. It's a great program! (Even if the person stalking
you is not a former intimate partner, the NNEDV Project
Safety Net can help you.)
Document
Document every incident of harassment. You will be tempted to ignore the behavior, telling yourself it
will stop eventually. However, in most cases, the stalking continues. So, keep a log of what is
happening.
Document each incident, including dates, times, names of witnesses, etc. Save e-mails to a disc and
keep it at home. Do not throw away any mail or email that is related to the harassment, even if the mail
is anonymous. Do not throw away any gifts that the stalker sends you. Save answering machine
messages. If it is legal in your state, try to tape record any phone calls. Take pictures of any property
damage. Video tape and/or photograph stalking behavior (camera phones can be a great tool for
documenting stalking).
Report every incident of harassment to the police. While the legislation in many states does not allow
for police intervention unless the stalking behavior contains threats or involves attacks, police reports
are an official form of documentation and could strengthen a case later on if the stalking escalates or
becomes more extreme. Even if the stalker's behavior in your situation does not involve specific threats,
contact the police and file a report. (And they HAVE to give you an incident number, even if you can't
prove who engaged in the behavior you are calling them about.)
You might also try the FBI office in your area as the Federal Interstate Stalking and Prevention Act, 18
U.S.C. Section 2261A, was amended in 2000 to cover stalking by phone and mail, and the Internet.
Stalking By A Work Or School Employee
Stalking By A Work Or School Employee
Document your work and/or school performance. Keep copies of performance evaluations and memos
that attest to the quality of your work. Save papers and exams that have comments by your professors.
Ask for written recommendations from your teachers that you can keep on file for later. The stalker may
question your work or school performance in order to justify their behavior.
Document any negative actions that you experience because of your refusal to submit to the stalkers
demands or attentions--for example, if you are given a poor evaluation, a demotion, or low grade
because of your rejecting the stalker.
If possible, find others who have had similar experiences as you have had with the stalker, or within the
environment where the harassment is occurring.
Formal Complaints
What you can do to confront stalking usually varies from state to state. In some states, you can file a
complaint under the state statute, but only if your stalker has threatened you with physical harm. In
others, the statutes mandate that less extreme acts of harassment are sufficient for a restraining order
or police arrest. Obtain a copy of your state's stalking statute in order to gain a clear understanding of
what conduct constitutes an offense under the statute.
If you are being stalked by someone from your workplace or school, the institution's grievance channels
may be appropriate for confronting the situation.
Formal Complaints at School or Work
Begin with the available grievance channels: In the workplace, the Human Resources department is
usually responsible for dealing with sexual harassment complaints, at least initially, so this may be the
place to begin if you are being stalked by another employee at work. At school, stalking will be in the
"domain" of any number of departments: campus security, affirmative action office, ombudsman,
student affairs office, dean of students, etc. Call your dean of students office to find out the proper
channels for stalking at your school. But be aware that the primary goal of any department you consult
will be to protect the school or business from liability--ethics are not likely to guide their decisions, nor
will they be likely to guide many of the people involved in your situation. In many cases, complainants
are treated like "the enemy."
Keep notes of meetings and phone conferences: Be sure to keep detailed notes of every meeting you
have regarding the stalking, including dates, names of participants, and the meeting results. If possible,
you might want to tape record the meetings, or bring an advocate or friend so you have a witness to what
transpired. It is also a good idea to send written summaries of the results to the attendees after each
meeting. (It shows them you are keeping on top of things.)
Document retaliation: Retaliation for complaining about stalking is also illegal. Document any
instances you experience just as you would the harassment. It is likely that the majority of the hostility
comes from colleagues of the harasser, but this does not change the legality. All retaliation is unlawful
regardless of who is doing it.
Stay composed: This is very, very important. Remain calm and professional during the entire process.
Your demeanor and psychological state will be under scrutiny, and everyone involved will be questioning
your motives. Save your emotions for a private counselor's office, family, or friends outside the
harassment environment.
Consult with a legal advocate: Consulting with an experienced advocate early on can help you avoid
making mistakes in the process, particularly if you are being harassed by a superior (for example, your
employer, supervisor, or a teacher). Also, keep the consultation confidential. Getting legal advise does
not mean you plan to sue anyone, but those around you may over-react if they know you are talking to
legal professionals about the situation. (We have heard reports of people being fired when their
employers learned a lawyer had been consulted.)
If you have exhausted all the avenues and the problem continues or worsens, we recommend you
contact a lawyer (if you have not done so already). If you are thinking of taking legal action, it is best for
you to not leave school or your job without consulting a lawyer first. Note: institutions, particularly
universities, have been known to drag out investigations so that too much time passes for the victim to
file a lawsuit later on--there is usually a 1 year statute of limitations on cases. If you suspect this is
happening, go ahead and consult a lawyer now.
How Do I File a Complaint Under My State's Stalking Statute?
The National Center for the Victims of Crime Protocol (reprinted with permission)
To file a complaint that will trigger an arrest and prosecution, it must be accompanied with sufficient
evidence to establish "probable cause" that the stalker engaged in conduct that is illegal under the
state's stalking statute. If law enforcement officials do not witness such conduct first-hand, it is often up
to the victim to provide them with the evidence necessary to establish probable cause.
Again, victims would be well-advised to obtain a copy of their state's stalking statute in order to gain a
clear understanding of what conduct constitutes an offense under the statute. While most state stalking
statutes are written in laymen's terms, the exact meaning of those terms is not always clear. Victims may
wish to consult with law enforcement officials, prosecutors, or a private attorney for an explanation and
interpretation of the specific stalking statute in question.
In other words, stalking victims are often put in a position of having to first prove their case to a law
enforcement official before being afforded the opportunity to prove their case before a court of law. It is for
this reason that it is crucial for stalking victims to document every stalking incident as thoroughly as
possible, including collecting and keeping any videotapes, audiotapes, phone answering machine
messages, photos of the stalker or property damage, letters sent, objects left, affidavits from eye
witnesses, notes, etc. Experts also recommend that victims keep a journal to document all contacts and
incidents, along with the time, date and other relevant in-formation. (See, the NCVC "Stalking: Safety
Plan Guidelines," for more information concerning evidence and safety strategies.)
Regardless of whether or not they have sufficient evidence to prove a stalking violation, victims wishing
to file a stalking complaint with law enforcement officials should do so at the earliest possible point in
time. In some cases, victims may also be able to file a complaint in the jurisdiction where the offender
resides, if it is different from the victim's.
If law enforcement officials refuse to investigate, or if they are not responsive to a complaint filed, victims
may always directly approach their local prosecutor (also known in various jurisdictions as, the district
attorney, state's attorney, commonwealth's attorney or state solicitor).
It is also recommended that any person who suspects or believes that they are currently being stalked
should immediately seek the advice and assistance of local victim specialists in developing a
personalized safety plan or action plan. Victim specialists can be found at local domestic violence or
rape crisis programs -- which should be listed under "Community Services Numbers" or "Emergency
Assistance Numbers" in the front section of the local phone book -- or in victim assistance programs
located in most local prosecutors' offices and in some law enforcement agencies -- which should be
listed under "Local, City or County Government" in the Blue Pages of the local phone book.
Some of the above information is adapted from articles from: Stalking Behavior, The NCCV Stalking
Resource Center, and Project Safety Net
A support community for anyone who has experienced sexual harassment.
For more information on ways to protect yourself, contact the
National Network to End Domestic Violence: Project Safety
Net. They have a free advise hotline, free literature and a free
DVD focusing on ways to use technology against stalkers,
and ways to protect yourself if a stalker is using technology to
track you. It's a great program! (Even if the person stalking
you is not a former intimate partner, the NNEDV Project
Safety Net can help you.)
http://www.sexualharassmentsupport.org/WhatToDoStalking.html
Some of the above information is adapted from articles from: Stalking Behavior, The NCCV Stalking
Resource Center, and Project Safety Net
In the meantime doing a search on stalking; a lot of things I read below; I do, such as go to a public library,etc.; which is where most people go that don't have a lot of money. Then it dawned on me that those who have been harassing me; know where I go and what I do; and God revealed they have been doing it before 1975;including reading this blog.
Came into the Winston-Salem Public Library this morning 11/5/10 at aprox.11:30am;with no money; person can't go to many places. Yesterday 11/4/10 came to the public library and took certain legal books and put them on a big table, so that I wouldn't have to go back and forth; and yesterday when I left; I left the books on top of the library table. So this morning KNOWING that I have been at the library and knowing that it is their job to put up library books; was a little surprised to find that all of the books were still on the table; PRE-ARRANGED specifically the LAW books and a SLAVERY book that I had looked at; along with a book with the letter "U" in it. The books were arrange to send message that I am NOT recieving; which bring me to the REAL MESSAGE; in which this blog verifies and that is the issue of those who abuse their authority.
They have recently put a Caucasion female(very nasty attitude-do not like people of color and KNOW her job is to attack them without drawing attention)-looking at her and summing her up she is probably a Klan and was probably hired for that very reason. The fact that the books were left on the table are an indication to me that the library staff was watching me; verification of how long they have been watching me is the "BERNIE MACK show; could not figure out why all the characters in the BERNIE MACK show related to me in some way till God revealed it to me; have been using me to control a guy name Bernie; couldn'g figure out why Bernie; I didn't like hinm, he liked me; so they used me to control him. Some of the things like telling people bad things about the person lthey are stalking, etc.; butthe saddest thing about the whole situation is that all of their tips say to go to the same people; especially if they are monitoring lyour phone, internet,(they did not mention the mail; but the mail also-I can't even get my mail without lharassment) in other words the STALKERS are the people who are suppose to stop the STALKING. And after clicking on one of the links on "What to do If you are stalked they had an ad for "UNITED- WAY WAY FOR PEOPLE meaning dog the people out,etc.."; which is why no one will ever deal with what they are doing to me; what they are doing to me is a part of the "UNITED WAY FOR PEOPLE" to keep money/jobs/protection for all those who are member of the "CLUB"; and to keep money/jobs/protection from everybody else that is NOT a member of the CLUB and is considered a nuciance(sp) and a pest and everybody knows what happens to pest. Of coarse, it is illegal and ilmoral; but all the attorney's who practice law that I have encountered understand and participate in the "UNITED-WAY FOR THE PEOPLE".
STALKING is why I can't go to ANY PUBLIC place and have peace; because they have b een and are trained to monitor anybody's activities who are NOT a part of the CLUB and especially those who they consider to have enough intelligence to challenge the setup of the members in the CLUB. And they have been taught to do so in such a way as to not draw attention to themselves or what they are doing. They have had a system of STALKing me for decades; which I have blogged about the effects; they have intimidated family, friends, relatives for decades; and the sad part again is NOBODY will stop them. One of the things that the website about stalking says to do is to write down/DOCUMENT everything that has or is being done to harass a person. I have. The other thing is that they say the person usually stops work; my answer is that they also threaten the people with confinement if they work.
Also at public library=workers/clerks harass =know theyhave back up authority=why at least the first three days authority cars appeared when I walked /turned either corner.
"time to Kill came out when I went to get my pap\wers"
Socialpeacest
********************************************************************************
The article on stalking is as follows:
Stalking is defined as the willful and repeated
following, watching, and/or harassing of another
person. In most cases, the purpose of stalking is to
force a relationship with an unwilling or unavailable
target. It is a crime of power and control.
Contrary to other crimes that usually consist of a
single act, stalking consists of a series of actions
spread out over time. Stalking is illegal but can
involve actions which in themselves are legal, such
as gathering information, calling on the phone, or
sending gifts or emails.
The act of stalking is a continuous process, consisting of numerous incidents. Rokkers writes,
"Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwantedly, and disruptively
breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom they have no relationship (or no longer have)." For the
most part, the separate acts that make up the intrusion cannot by themselves cause the mental abuse,
but taken together they do, as there is a cumulative effect.
Stalking Behaviors
Waiting at the victim's workplace or in their neighborhood
Persistent phone calls, text messages, emails, letters or notes
Placing messages in the media
Sending gifts from the seemingly "romantic" (i.e. flowers and/or candy) to the bizarre (i.e.
pornographic gifts)
Breaking into the victim's home or car
Gathering information on the victim: contacting people who know the victim; searching public or
personal records, or the trash, for information.
Surveillance:
-persistently watching the individual
-employing detective agencies to watch the victim
-using cameras, audio equipment, phone tapping, or bugging the victim's home or
workplace
-installing spyware on the victim's computer
-installing GPS tracking systems on the victim's car or cellphone
Manipulative behavior (for example: bringing legal action against the victim, or threatening to
commit suicide in order to coerce the victim to intervene--all methods of forcing contact with the
stalker)
Defamation of character: the stalker will often lie to others about the victim, trying to limit their
options and weaken their support network. This isolates the victim, making them seem more
vulnerable, and gives the stalker a feeling of power and control.
"Objectification": the stalker derogates the victim, thus reducing them to an object which allows
the stalker to feel angry with them without experiencing empathy. It helps the stalker feel they
are entitled to behave as they please toward the victim. Viewing her/him as "lesser," "weak" or
otherwise seriously flawed can support delusions that the victim needs to be rescued, or
punished, by the stalker.
Threats and violence: the stalker uses threats to frighten the victim; vandalism and property
damage (usually to the victims car); physical attacks that leave abrasions and bruises (mostly
meant to frighten); less common--physical attacks that leave serious physical injuries, or sexual
assaults.
Cyberstalking: electronic mediums, such as the Internet, are used to pursue, harass or contact
another in an unsolicited fashion. The stalker may install spyware on their target's computer or
cellphone, and use an Internet connection to upload the information they gather. They may loiter
around forums they know their target frequents, even joining the forums in order to contact their
target, or contact other forum members the target interacts with. Cyberstalking is an extension
of the physical form of stalking.
Gang stalking: stalking by multiple perpetrators, or one perpetrator is able to convince others to
assist in his/her stalking and harassing activities against a victim.
Recent Stalking Statistics--The 2009 U.S. Department of Justice Report
In January of 2009, The U.S. Department of Justice released a report based on a national crime victims
survey of stalking and harassment victims. Below are just a few of the statistics of this 16 page report.
During a 12-month period an estimated 14 in every 1,000 persons age 18 or older were victims
of stalking.
About half (46%) of stalking victims experienced at least one unwanted contact per week, and
11% of victims said they had been stalked for 5 years or more.
The risk of stalking victimization was highest for individuals who were divorced or separated—34
per 1,000 individuals.
Women were at greater risk than men for stalking.
About 43% of victims stated that police were contacted at least once regarding the stalking.
Male (37%) and female (41%) stalking victimizations were equally likely to be reported to the
police.
Approximately 1 in 4 stalking victims reported some form of cyberstalking such as e-mail (83%)
or instant messaging (35%). Electronic monitoring was used to stalk 1 in 13 victims (i.e. GPS
monitoring, bugs, phone tapping, video).
46% of stalking victims felt fear of not knowing what would happen next.
Nearly 3 in 4 stalking victims knew their offender in some capacity.
Download the report: Stalking Victimization in the United States
Stalking isn't taken seriously
In conjunction with the Network for Surviving Stalking, the University of Leicester has been conducting an
ongoing, international survey of stalking. They report:
Half of the victims responding to the survey reported being told they were being paranoid or over-
reacting when they confided to friends and colleagues about their stalker.
57% of victims said they did not go to the police when their stalking problem started for fear of
being ignored or laughed at.
A sixth of victims in the Leicester study said they were told they were lucky to receive such
attention.
A third of these victims said that prior to being stalked, they’d thought that only mentally ill people
were responsible for stalking.
Patterns
According to the U.S. National Center For The Victims Of Crime, 1 out of every 12 women will be stalked
during her lifetime. 1 out of 45 men will be stalked during his lifetime. Over one million women, and
nearly 380,000 men are stalked annually.
Links:
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Read stories by stalking survivors =>
What to do if you are being stalked =>
Recommended:
In the article "Stalkers and their Victims," published in Psychiatric Times, Pathý and Mullen reported:
"The impact on the victim's psychological and social well-being is considerable. Pathý and
Mullen (1997) studied 100 victims of persistent stalking. The majority had to severely restrict their
lives by changing or abandoning work, curtailing all social activities, and becoming virtual
recluses. Over 80% developed significant anxiety symptoms. Sleep disturbance was common,
and many resorted to substance abuse. Over half had symptoms of posttraumatic stress
disorder. Feelings of powerlessness and depression were common, and nearly a quarter of the
victims were actively considering suicide as a means of escape. Similar levels of distress and
disturbance were reported in Hall's study (1998) ."
According to the University of Leicester Study:
a third of victims said they’d lost their job or relationship or had been forced to move because of
the stalking.
98% of victims reported emotional effects due to stalking. These included anxiety, sleep
disturbance, anger, depression, paranoia, agoraphobia and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Half of the victims participating in the University of Leicester study said they’d lost out financially
due to stalking.
A third said they’d paid for repairs to damage inflicted by a stalker and a fifth paid for legal advice.
In addition, stalking can effect work and school performance in several ways. The behaviors often
interfere directly with attendance or productivity and result in the workplace or school becoming an
unsafe location, or the victim's feeling they are unsafe. Further, stalking may indirectly affect a person's
ability to work due to the many adverse emotional consequences suffered such as headaches, poor
concentration, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, helplessness, humiliation, gastrointestinal disorders,
and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), etc. Home will also feel unsafe, and the victim's ability to
function and complete daily tasks will usually be affected.
(For other effects, see Effects of Sexual Harassment )
Sources: 4, 5, 10, 27, 41, 48, 57, 67, 75, 78, 79, 81
Stalkers often ‘research’ their victims, searching public records for information, or manipulating family or
friends of the victim. The University of Leicester research reports 40% of stalkers obtained information
from people’s friends. 27% got information from their work-place and from the victim’s family. 17% of
the information came from public records.
Moreover, it is not always just the initial victim who is stalked. According to The University of Leicester
research, a quarter of victims said their children had also been targeted. A third reported the stalker
also harassed family and friends. A fifth said coworkers had been harassed.
Romantically obsessed stalkers refuse to believe the victim does not want a relationship with them.
However, stalking can also be a form of retaliation because of some perceived slight. Indeed, many
sexual harassment survivors report being stalked in retaliation for reporting their harassers.
Stalking is a crime of power and control. Stalkers tend to obsess about their victim. They may make
many plans for the future that involve their victim. Often, the great amount of time (and sometimes
money) they spend invested in stalking often leads them to believe that continued stalking is justified.
Stalkers tend to have very weak social skills, and usually see nothing wrong with their behavior.
(Normal individuals would be mortified to be caught following other people, looking for information about
them, tracking them on the Internet, leaving notes, and other inappropriate behavior displayed by
stalkers.)
Few stalkers see how their actions are hurting others, and they do not believe society's rules apply to
them. They do not believe they are threatening, intimidating, or even that they are stalking someone.
Most stalkers see all of their actions simply as attempts to get closer to their target, help them, or to gain
their love. To the victim, it is like a "prolonged rape." For more information, see Types of Stalkers.
Effects of stalking
In their 2009 report, the U.S. Department of Justice reports the impact of stalking on the victims:
46.1% reported fear of not knowing what would happen next. 29.1% were afraid the behavior
would never stop.
More than half of the stalking victims feared bodily harm to themselves, their child, or another
family member.
1 in 7 victims had to move to escape the stalker/s.
About 3 in 10 of stalking victims accrued out-of-pocket costs for things such as attorney fees,
security measures/devices, damage to property, child care costs, moving expenses, or changing
phone numbers.
More than half of stalking victims lost 5 or more days from work. (Also leads to loss of income).
Anger/annoyance was the most common emotion experienced by victims (72%). Others
reported fear (42%), anxiety (26.8%), helplessness (10%), depression (10%).
Stalking Help, a stalking victims' resource organization based at the University of Texas, reports some
effects of stalking:
93% of stalking victims indicate that being stalked had a significant negative impact on their
personal relationships.
63% of stalking victims reported conflict in their friendships as a result of being stalked. The
conflict was most often created by victims' unwillingness to attend social events where their
stalker might be present and friend's frustration because they believed the victim was not doing
enough to deter their stalker.
Many stalking victims indicated that they had changed jobs or transferred to another school to
escape the always-present terror they experienced.
Most stalking victims reported that they were at a loss about what they could do to end their
victimization. Most of the tactics they tried seemed to make matters worse.
Many of the victims reported living in perpetual fear that something might push their stalker over
the edge and lead him to physically assault, sexually assault, or even murder them.
A support community for anyone who has experienced sexual harassment.
Stalking is defined as the willful and repeated
following, watching, and/or harassing of another
person. In most cases, the purpose of stalking is to
force a relationship with an unwilling or unavailable
target. It is a crime of power and control.
Contrary to other crimes that usually consist of a
single act, stalking consists of a series of actions
spread out over time. Stalking is illegal but can
involve actions which in themselves are legal, such
as gathering information, calling on the phone, or
sending gifts or emails.
Exactly like any other crime, behaviour, or clinical disorder,
stalking exists on a continuum of severity. The stalking may
be so subtle that the victim may not even aware that it is
happening, or the perpetrator may have a sincere belief that
“if they would just get to know me, they would like me”, or that
“I just want to help them,“ with no malicious intent. Most
cases of stalking do not even rise to extreme levels of
According to the U.S. National Center For The Victims Of Crime, 1 out of every 12 women will be stalked
during her lifetime. 1 out of 45 men will be stalked during his lifetime. Over one million women, and
nearly 380,000 men are stalked annually.
Exactly like any other crime, behaviour, or clinical disorder,
stalking exists on a continuum of severity. The stalking may
be so subtle that the victim may not even aware that it is
happening, or the perpetrator may have a sincere belief that
“if they would just get to know me, they would like me”, or that
“I just want to help them,“ with no malicious intent. Most
cases of stalking do not even rise to extreme levels of
violence or harassment.
Stalkers often ‘research’ their victims, searching public records for information, or manipulating family or
friends of the victim. The University of Leicester research reports 40% of stalkers obtained information
from people’s friends. 27% got information from their work-place and from the victim’s family. 17% of
the information came from public records.
Moreover, it is not always just the initial victim who is stalked. According to The University of Leicester
research, a quarter of victims said their children had also been targeted. A third reported the stalker
also harassed family and friends. A fifth said coworkers had been harassed.
Romantically obsessed stalkers refuse to believe the victim does not want a relationship with them.
However, stalking can also be a form of retaliation because of some perceived slight. Indeed, many
sexual harassment survivors report being stalked in retaliation for reporting their harassers.
Stalking is a crime of power and control. Stalkers tend to obsess about their victim. They may make
many plans for the future that involve their victim. Often, the great amount of time (and sometimes
money) they spend invested in stalking often leads them to believe that continued stalking is justified.
Stalkers tend to have very weak social skills, and usually see nothing wrong with their behavior.
(Normal individuals would be mortified to be caught following other people, looking for information about
them, tracking them on the Internet, leaving notes, and other inappropriate behavior displayed by
stalkers.)
Few stalkers see how their actions are hurting others, and they do not believe society's rules apply to
them. They do not believe they are threatening, intimidating, or even that they are stalking someone.
Most stalkers see all of their actions simply as attempts to get closer to their target, help them, or to gain
their love. To the victim, it is like a "prolonged rape." For more information, see Types of Stalkers.
Effects of stalking
In their 2009 report, the U.S. Department of Justice reports the impact of stalking on the victims:
46.1% reported fear of not knowing what would happen next. 29.1% were afraid the behavior
would never stop.
More than half of the stalking victims feared bodily harm to themselves, their child, or another
family member.
1 in 7 victims had to move to escape the stalker/s.
About 3 in 10 of stalking victims accrued out-of-pocket costs for things such as attorney fees,
security measures/devices, damage to property, child care costs, moving expenses, or changing
phone numbers.
More than half of stalking victims lost 5 or more days from work. (Also leads to loss of income).
Anger/annoyance was the most common emotion experienced by victims (72%). Others
reported fear (42%), anxiety (26.8%), helplessness (10%), depression (10%).
Stalking Help, a stalking victims' resource organization based at the University of Texas, reports some
effects of stalking:
93% of stalking victims indicate that being stalked had a significant negative impact on their
personal relationships.
63% of stalking victims reported conflict in their friendships as a result of being stalked. The
conflict was most often created by victims' unwillingness to attend social events where their
stalker might be present and friend's frustration because they believed the victim was not doing
enough to deter their stalker.
Many stalking victims indicated that they had changed jobs or transferred to another school to
escape the always-present terror they experienced.
Most stalking victims reported that they were at a loss about what they could do to end their
victimization. Most of the tactics they tried seemed to make matters worse.
Many of the victims reported living in perpetual fear that something might push their stalker over
the edge and lead him to physically assault, sexually assault, or even murder them.
In the article "Stalkers and their Victims," published in Psychiatric Times, Pathý and Mullen reported:
"The impact on the victim's psychological and social well-being is considerable. Pathý and
Mullen (1997) studied 100 victims of persistent stalking. The majority had to severely restrict their
lives by changing or abandoning work, curtailing all social activities, and becoming virtual
recluses. Over 80% developed significant anxiety symptoms. Sleep disturbance was common,
and many resorted to substance abuse. Over half had symptoms of posttraumatic stress
disorder. Feelings of powerlessness and depression were common, and nearly a quarter of the
victims were actively considering suicide as a means of escape. Similar levels of distress and
disturbance were reported in Hall's study (1998) ."
According to the University of Leicester Study:
a third of victims said they’d lost their job or relationship or had been forced to move because of
the stalking.
98% of victims reported emotional effects due to stalking. These included anxiety, sleep
disturbance, anger, depression, paranoia, agoraphobia and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Half of the victims participating in the University of Leicester study said they’d lost out financially
due to stalking.
A third said they’d paid for repairs to damage inflicted by a stalker and a fifth paid for legal advice.
In addition, stalking can effect work and school performance in several ways. The behaviors often
interfere directly with attendance or productivity and result in the workplace or school becoming an
unsafe location, or the victim's feeling they are unsafe. Further, stalking may indirectly affect a person's
ability to work due to the many adverse emotional consequences suffered such as headaches, poor
concentration, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, helplessness, humiliation, gastrointestinal disorders,
and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), etc. Home will also feel unsafe, and the victim's ability to
function and complete daily tasks will usually be affected.
**************************************************************************
What To Do If You Are Being Stalked
Get the message across
Communicate to the stalker that their attention is unwelcome. If you do this yourself, do it once, and
only once. Better yet, have someone else do it for you. From then on, sever all contact with the
perpetrator as long as they are stalking you. Forcing contact is one of the goals of stalking, and you will
simply be reinforcing the behavior if you communicate directly with her/him.
Do not try to reason with a stalker, it won't work. Don't lash out or retaliate--the stalker wants your
attention, whether positive or negative, so you will just be giving him or her what they want..
Next, focus on protecting yourself, documenting the stalking, and getting help, if you need it.
Ways to Protect Yourself
There is no end to the ways stalkers track and harass their targets, and the intensity and duration can
vary. Also, one of the problems is that stalkers will use sites like this to find out ways to stalk, and ways
they are being blocked.
Below are suggestions on ways to protect yourself based on the most common forms of stalking. Apply
them as they fit your situation. For ways to get more information, see below.
If you suspect that the stalking may be a threat to your physical safety, click here for the National Center
for the Victims of Crime safety plan measures.
General Safety Tips
Change your patterns--don't do everything at the same time each day if possible, don't go to the
same places all the time....
Let your friends, family, and neighbors know you are being stalked. Circulate a picture and
physical description of the stalker.
Protect your personal information (bank account information, private records) by using a safe for
documents, and a shredder for discarded documents.
Install dead bolt locks (ask your local locksmith what is the best) and hide all keys. Non-
pickable locks, and restricted locks are expensive, but if you have the money, it may be worth the
investment. If you have the funds, install an alarm/security system.
Be very careful who you give your address, phone number, and email address to. You may want
to set up a post-office box for certain types of mail. Only give your phone number and primary
email address to people you trust. Set up alternate email accounts for strangers.
Phone:
Use caller ID to screen, and block unwanted calls or text messages.
Set up a Privacy Manager option to screen out anonymous callers. Privacy Manager directs
anonymous callers to a phone center where they have to identify themselves before their call will
be sent through to you.
If the stalker keeps calling, call the phone company and report it. Ask them to change your
phone number and keep the new one unlisted. Only give the new number to people you know
you can trust.
New info: The Seattle Police Department’s Domestic Violence Unit has found that when
stalking victims disconnect a phone number, virtually 100 percent of the stalkers escalate their
contact to in-person stalking. The Seattle Police now advise victims to get a new phone number
but keep their old phone line active and connected to an answering machine to capture any
possible evidence.
What To Do If You Are Being Stalked
Computer: (If you know the stalker has technical computer skills, do ALL of these)
Password protect your system (you can do this through your Windows control panel.)
If you have a DSL or cable connection, do not leave your modem on. Disconnect it when you are
not using your computer.
Install a VERY GOOD firewall and spyware detector, and do weekly scans. The "best" varies year
to year, so research what is recommended right now.
Backup all your documents and format your computer. This will clear out anything that may have
been installed without your authorization. (You may have to do this regularly.)
Internet: If you are being stalked or harassed on the Internet, click here for more information on what you
can do.
For more information on ways to protect yourself, contact the
National Network to End Domestic Violence: Project Safety
Net. They have a free advise hotline, free literature and a free
DVD focusing on ways to use technology against stalkers,
and ways to protect yourself if a stalker is using technology to
track you. It's a great program! (Even if the person stalking
you is not a former intimate partner, the NNEDV Project
Safety Net can help you.)
Document
Document every incident of harassment. You will be tempted to ignore the behavior, telling yourself it
will stop eventually. However, in most cases, the stalking continues. So, keep a log of what is
happening.
Document each incident, including dates, times, names of witnesses, etc. Save e-mails to a disc and
keep it at home. Do not throw away any mail or email that is related to the harassment, even if the mail
is anonymous. Do not throw away any gifts that the stalker sends you. Save answering machine
messages. If it is legal in your state, try to tape record any phone calls. Take pictures of any property
damage. Video tape and/or photograph stalking behavior (camera phones can be a great tool for
documenting stalking).
Report every incident of harassment to the police. While the legislation in many states does not allow
for police intervention unless the stalking behavior contains threats or involves attacks, police reports
are an official form of documentation and could strengthen a case later on if the stalking escalates or
becomes more extreme. Even if the stalker's behavior in your situation does not involve specific threats,
contact the police and file a report. (And they HAVE to give you an incident number, even if you can't
prove who engaged in the behavior you are calling them about.)
You might also try the FBI office in your area as the Federal Interstate Stalking and Prevention Act, 18
U.S.C. Section 2261A, was amended in 2000 to cover stalking by phone and mail, and the Internet.
Stalking By A Work Or School Employee
Stalking By A Work Or School Employee
Document your work and/or school performance. Keep copies of performance evaluations and memos
that attest to the quality of your work. Save papers and exams that have comments by your professors.
Ask for written recommendations from your teachers that you can keep on file for later. The stalker may
question your work or school performance in order to justify their behavior.
Document any negative actions that you experience because of your refusal to submit to the stalkers
demands or attentions--for example, if you are given a poor evaluation, a demotion, or low grade
because of your rejecting the stalker.
If possible, find others who have had similar experiences as you have had with the stalker, or within the
environment where the harassment is occurring.
Formal Complaints
What you can do to confront stalking usually varies from state to state. In some states, you can file a
complaint under the state statute, but only if your stalker has threatened you with physical harm. In
others, the statutes mandate that less extreme acts of harassment are sufficient for a restraining order
or police arrest. Obtain a copy of your state's stalking statute in order to gain a clear understanding of
what conduct constitutes an offense under the statute.
If you are being stalked by someone from your workplace or school, the institution's grievance channels
may be appropriate for confronting the situation.
Formal Complaints at School or Work
Begin with the available grievance channels: In the workplace, the Human Resources department is
usually responsible for dealing with sexual harassment complaints, at least initially, so this may be the
place to begin if you are being stalked by another employee at work. At school, stalking will be in the
"domain" of any number of departments: campus security, affirmative action office, ombudsman,
student affairs office, dean of students, etc. Call your dean of students office to find out the proper
channels for stalking at your school. But be aware that the primary goal of any department you consult
will be to protect the school or business from liability--ethics are not likely to guide their decisions, nor
will they be likely to guide many of the people involved in your situation. In many cases, complainants
are treated like "the enemy."
Keep notes of meetings and phone conferences: Be sure to keep detailed notes of every meeting you
have regarding the stalking, including dates, names of participants, and the meeting results. If possible,
you might want to tape record the meetings, or bring an advocate or friend so you have a witness to what
transpired. It is also a good idea to send written summaries of the results to the attendees after each
meeting. (It shows them you are keeping on top of things.)
Document retaliation: Retaliation for complaining about stalking is also illegal. Document any
instances you experience just as you would the harassment. It is likely that the majority of the hostility
comes from colleagues of the harasser, but this does not change the legality. All retaliation is unlawful
regardless of who is doing it.
Stay composed: This is very, very important. Remain calm and professional during the entire process.
Your demeanor and psychological state will be under scrutiny, and everyone involved will be questioning
your motives. Save your emotions for a private counselor's office, family, or friends outside the
harassment environment.
Consult with a legal advocate: Consulting with an experienced advocate early on can help you avoid
making mistakes in the process, particularly if you are being harassed by a superior (for example, your
employer, supervisor, or a teacher). Also, keep the consultation confidential. Getting legal advise does
not mean you plan to sue anyone, but those around you may over-react if they know you are talking to
legal professionals about the situation. (We have heard reports of people being fired when their
employers learned a lawyer had been consulted.)
If you have exhausted all the avenues and the problem continues or worsens, we recommend you
contact a lawyer (if you have not done so already). If you are thinking of taking legal action, it is best for
you to not leave school or your job without consulting a lawyer first. Note: institutions, particularly
universities, have been known to drag out investigations so that too much time passes for the victim to
file a lawsuit later on--there is usually a 1 year statute of limitations on cases. If you suspect this is
happening, go ahead and consult a lawyer now.
How Do I File a Complaint Under My State's Stalking Statute?
The National Center for the Victims of Crime Protocol (reprinted with permission)
To file a complaint that will trigger an arrest and prosecution, it must be accompanied with sufficient
evidence to establish "probable cause" that the stalker engaged in conduct that is illegal under the
state's stalking statute. If law enforcement officials do not witness such conduct first-hand, it is often up
to the victim to provide them with the evidence necessary to establish probable cause.
Again, victims would be well-advised to obtain a copy of their state's stalking statute in order to gain a
clear understanding of what conduct constitutes an offense under the statute. While most state stalking
statutes are written in laymen's terms, the exact meaning of those terms is not always clear. Victims may
wish to consult with law enforcement officials, prosecutors, or a private attorney for an explanation and
interpretation of the specific stalking statute in question.
In other words, stalking victims are often put in a position of having to first prove their case to a law
enforcement official before being afforded the opportunity to prove their case before a court of law. It is for
this reason that it is crucial for stalking victims to document every stalking incident as thoroughly as
possible, including collecting and keeping any videotapes, audiotapes, phone answering machine
messages, photos of the stalker or property damage, letters sent, objects left, affidavits from eye
witnesses, notes, etc. Experts also recommend that victims keep a journal to document all contacts and
incidents, along with the time, date and other relevant in-formation. (See, the NCVC "Stalking: Safety
Plan Guidelines," for more information concerning evidence and safety strategies.)
Regardless of whether or not they have sufficient evidence to prove a stalking violation, victims wishing
to file a stalking complaint with law enforcement officials should do so at the earliest possible point in
time. In some cases, victims may also be able to file a complaint in the jurisdiction where the offender
resides, if it is different from the victim's.
If law enforcement officials refuse to investigate, or if they are not responsive to a complaint filed, victims
may always directly approach their local prosecutor (also known in various jurisdictions as, the district
attorney, state's attorney, commonwealth's attorney or state solicitor).
It is also recommended that any person who suspects or believes that they are currently being stalked
should immediately seek the advice and assistance of local victim specialists in developing a
personalized safety plan or action plan. Victim specialists can be found at local domestic violence or
rape crisis programs -- which should be listed under "Community Services Numbers" or "Emergency
Assistance Numbers" in the front section of the local phone book -- or in victim assistance programs
located in most local prosecutors' offices and in some law enforcement agencies -- which should be
listed under "Local, City or County Government" in the Blue Pages of the local phone book.
Some of the above information is adapted from articles from: Stalking Behavior, The NCCV Stalking
Resource Center, and Project Safety Net
A support community for anyone who has experienced sexual harassment.
For more information on ways to protect yourself, contact the
National Network to End Domestic Violence: Project Safety
Net. They have a free advise hotline, free literature and a free
DVD focusing on ways to use technology against stalkers,
and ways to protect yourself if a stalker is using technology to
track you. It's a great program! (Even if the person stalking
you is not a former intimate partner, the NNEDV Project
Safety Net can help you.)
http://www.sexualharassmentsupport.org/WhatToDoStalking.html
Some of the above information is adapted from articles from: Stalking Behavior, The NCCV Stalking
Resource Center, and Project Safety Net
